Courage
by jajajajaplease
Summary: After being humiliated by his first love and childhood friend in middle school, Tetsuya transferred to Seirin the day after the confession. One day, however, a certain childhood friend came back to haunt him.


**Hello there! So this was a lovely request made by****80TakeshITsunA27**** Thank you so much, Russelle! I hope you like the story, feel free to comment and criticize me!**

* * *

_"__Damn Tetsuya! Just do it!"_ He walked down the crowded hall, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, trying to distract himself with any tiny action that wasn't his real goal. _"Put yourself together, you idiot!"_ He tried to remain calm, serious, or at least breathe normally. But even that didn't seem easy to do. _"Grow some balls!"_ He could see the door to the gymnasium at the end of the long, stuffed hallway. People bumped into him as if he wasn't even there. He wanted to run the other way, to escape his own fantasies and forget about every embarrassing dream. But there he was, and he couldn't turn around now, he couldn't run away _"Don't you have any courage?"_

Being a reader, he had read lots of books in which ordinary middle school girls were in similar situations to this one, and he never knew the sensation could be so similar: his heart pounding inside his head, his hands slippery with acid sweat, the butterflies-no- the bats inside this stomach…it was beautifully unbearable.

The door was so near, yet so far away. Each step he made took him closer to the gymnasium and to his own insanity. Watching it getting bigger with every second, getting nearer, it was terrifying. He never knew in all of his years of loving in silence, that loving out loud could be so hard. Damn, he didn't even know if the other loved him back! So many things happened to them…but it was about time. He couldn't keep hiding, and he couldn't put aside his feelings for him anymore.

There it was…the basketball court. Just one door, one handle, and a bunch of cowardice, are separating him from his destiny.

When he told Aomine about what he was about to do, he actually choked on his food for the third time that year. First, his best friend tells him that he's gay, he likes dudes, he swings the other way. That was a shock but he was ok with it, no problem so far. Then, some months later, the latter admits having feelings not for any guy, but for the one and only Akashi Seijuurou. Ok, THAT was a problem. The dude was sick, like really, he was insane. He never really liked him; there was something about him that was…I don't know…kind of…sinister? He didn't even know. And now, after he finished assimilating the facts and he got used to losing his friend's attention whenever they walked in front of the basketball court, the blue head throws the bomb: he wants to confess. He knew since the beginning, since the first time he saw that creepy guy… that he was up to no good. There was just something about his eyes, his soul-sucking stare, that told him to step back from him. Kind of like walking pass a house with a sign that reads "beware of dog", he knew he had to keep distance. But when he saw his friend's eyes, shining with hope, actually believing that he could take something good from the situation, he became mute. He couldn't bring himself to say anything at all, he didn't want to hurt him, but he neither wanted Akashi to hurt him.

At the end he guessed it was better to support him, to let him do as he pleased, and follow his instincts. If he wanted to do it, it must have been because of something. So he let him go… but being Kuroko's friend, it almost felt wrong for him letting him do so.

But what Aomine didn't know…was the past behind this twisted present.

Kuroko felt the last grain falling from the sand glass of his patience, and his hand clumsily holding to the doorknob. He bit his lips, closed his eyes with vigor, and wishing his heart stopped right there and then, he opened the heavy door. The door of courage, the door that separated him from his fears.

Things didn't use to be that way, things used to be easier. Talking didn't use to be stuttering, breathing didn't use to be choking, and smiling didn't use to be a lie. But things change, and people do too, Akashi was no exception. Though Kuroko didn't care, those facts were irrelevant. For him he was still Sei-kun, his friend, his first love, and nothing could change that. Not even the scars of the brute time passing by, not even the new toxic look he had in his eyes.

As he walked inside his heart started skipping beats, his senses became dull, the air seemed to get denser. He remembered how much time they used to spend together, how much he loved his company, how happy they seemed. And know everything was gone, it disappeared, almost as if it never happened. But Kuroko was stubborn, he held to that memory with his life, and he refused to forget. He couldn't forget…especially _that_ day. He couldn't even…

All of his thoughts suddenly vanished into the air, at the moment he saw the comb of red hair in the middle of the crowd.

There he was, as dignified as usual, giving orders to the team. He might have been short, but his aura made him stand out even more than the giants of the group. Everyone looked at him with so much respect, so much fear…everyone except Kuroko. Kuroko's stare was nothing but one of pure and overpowering love. He couldn't help it, his feelings dripped out of his pores like sweat. It was so obvious.

He approached the circle of boys, all of them listening to their captain carefully, learning their new strategy. He thought he looked so breathtaking with his jersey, so smart telling everyone else what to do, so cute when he scratched his chin while reading his notes. He was just so perfect in his eyes, so distracting…the boy almost got lost inside the gymnasium.

Kuroko saw the team nodding and then spreading around the court. Akashi didn't though; he stayed near the benches, taking some notes while he watched the boys practicing. _"He's by himself, the perfect opportunity" _The blue head thought, and slowly but decisively, he approached the boy with the piercing stare.

As he walked next to the court, Aomine (who was also part of the team) looked at him with a lump on his throat. He knew what he was about to do, but although he though it wasn't a good idea, it wasn't his intention to interrupt. So he stared in silence, conflicted, for the first time in his life not paying attention to the game _"Good luck, Tetsu"._

Kuroko's heart was buzzing, his jaw trembling, and his eyes threatening to water as he tapped Akashi's shoulder.

"Uh, eh…Se-Seijuurou-kun"

"What is it, Tetsuya?" The redhead responded without even looking at him, his eyes never leaving his notes. He seemed so calm, as if he didn't noticed the other couldn't even breathe.

"I…eh…uhm…"

"I'm busy, Tetsuya, If you have nothing to say you better…"

"I- I like you, Sei!"

For the first time in the conversation, Akashi unglued his eyes from his duties. He stared right at him, his expression as tense as the rope that held Kuroko's sanity. His mouth opened slightly, as if he was about to say something, but he suddenly closed it, frowning and pinching the bridge of his nose.

They could hear some whispers coming from the players, who seemed to have heard part of the conversation:

_"__Hey, did that guy just called our captain 'Sei'?"_

_"__This is so gay"_

_"__So fuckin weird, man"_

But Kuroko didn't care; his ears ignored any other sound that wasn't coming from Akashi. He could hear his breathing, the way he swallowed with nervousness, and he could swear that his heartbeat was just as fast and uneven as his. There was no escape; there was no turning back now. He just had to wait for an answer. And being it 'yes' or 'no', he was prepared, he had thought a lot about the chance of being rejected. But what he was not prepared for, was for the total wring out of his heart.

Akashi seemed to tremble for a bit, then he removed his hand from his face, releasing a disgusted stare that swept through Kuroko's body and consumed all of his courage, almost bringing him to his knees.

"Ugh, Tetsuya. How many times did I tell you not to call me 'Sei' in public?"

Kuroko's eyes widened in disbelief, there were tears blurring his vision but refusing to fall down. He could hear chuckles from some people nearby, and his hands were shaking when he tried to grab the other by the shoulder, kind of wishing that maybe that way he would stay with him.

"I'm sorry, Sei-Seijuurou-kun…I…just wanted to tell you that-"

"I heard you right and clear, Tetsuya. Please don't say it again; you are making a fool of yourself."

Everyone in the room was laughing, they were laughing at him, at his feelings, at his courage. He wanted to answer him, to tell him that there was no need to be so cruel. But he couldn't, he couldn't because it was _him_. And if it was him, his words must have been true.

He wanted to run away, to unlock his gaze of his, to never see those burning eyes ever again. But his legs were not answering his commands, and he stood there, looking at him, tears rolling down his cheeks _"Sei…what happened to you?"_

"Now, if you don't have anything else to say please leave, you interrupted our training"

Never in his life had he felt more humiliated, never in his life had he run so fast. Never in his life had he wanted to die so hard. He slammed the gym's door shut, intentionally hard so its noise could cover the laughter of the other players. Oh, how much he wanted to be angry, how much he wanted to be furious at him. But he wasn't, he couldn't. That wasn't the feeling.

**He was terrified, completely scared of him.**

"Oi! Tetsu! Wait up!" Aomine ran after him, but the heartbroken blue head was nowhere to be found. And the next morning, he wasn't there either.

* * *

_"__Hey! Tetsuya!" Kuroko turned around, his concentration not deposited in the book in his hands anymore. "Here!"_

_There he was, he was late, and that was unusual for him…but there he was. He was running towards him, his tiny figure making the biggest effort he could to reach his side as fast as he could. His red hair, shiny and messy, was being dragged everywhere by the wind, making him look merry and eager. Kuroko couldn't help but smile as he saw him, he didn't care about the long time he had to wait._

_"__Sei" He greeted "You are here"_

_"__I am" He said with a huge, cheerful smile "Sorry I'm late, I had to…deal with some stuff"_

_Kuroko didn't put much though into it, and immediately stood up from the tree he was resting under. They had promised to meet there at the park that afternoon, maybe to play some basketball at the court or maybe Hide n' Seek. Or maybe just to enjoy each other's company…they'd never admit that to one another. _

_"__It's ok Sei, but…" He made a pause, his eyes focused on his friend's cheek "What happened to your face?"_

_Akashi seemed to stiffen a bit, his hand immediately covering the wound under his unblinking eye. Crap…was it that visible?_

_"__Oh, this?" He said confidently, pointing at the red mark in discussion "It's nothing, just an accident horse riding"_

_"__Is that so? Ok then…let's go have some fun!" Both of them tried to shrug the topic off, but the difference was…that only Kuroko was able to really do so. _

_Hours passed by, and the two friends were having fun. They went to the basketball court to practice their shooting and made a bet to see who could score more times…which Akashi won effortlessly. Kuroko complained, saying it was unfair to play against someone as talented as him. To which his friend only laughed._

_"__You'll get better some day if you practice…but you'll never be better than me!"_

_"__Don't be so cocky, Sei!" The blue head responded, panting from the effort "Come on! Let's play again! I'll win this round!"_

_"__Aren't you scared?" He asked with a wink._

_"__Of you? Not a bit"_

_"__Uhm…you seem to be very courageous then, my friend"_

_"__Courageous? Why?" The boy innocently asked, leaving the redhead a bit unprepared to answer the question._

_"__Well…you don't seem to be scared of me…that's why" Akashi seemed to be fidgeting, a small pout taking over his lips as he looked unsurely to the ground "All the other kids seem to be…you know? Because of my big surname and my attitude…"_

_And, with that answer given, after just a few seconds of silence, all Kuroko could do was to laugh._

**_"_****_Don't be ridiculous, Sei. I'd never feel scared of you!"_**

_Time passed by and fun and games continued. They ran around the park like fools and also played a card game Kuroko brought. But after three consecutive rounds of Akashi winning at hide n' seek, Kuroko had too much. How was that even possible?! That game was his strongest point! And the "I am absolute" excuse the other gave just wasn't enough. Stupid game…stupid Sei…stupid everything._

_After a while, when the sun was already setting down and the lights gave the impression the sky was tinted in orange and pink, the two friends were exhausted. They were resting under a tree with Kuroko laying his head on Akashi's shoulder, as they tried to recover some energy to return home. It had been a beautiful day, warm, rewarding and also full of fun, and both of them tried to archive every second of it inside their minds so that they could never forget._

_But Seijuurou just seemed to couldn't, he lacked concentration. A question was running in circles inside his head, messing with every though and making him feel dizzy. He stared at his precious friend, peacefully resting on him, and he caressed his hair softly. He knew, from the bottom of his heart, that there was something about their friendship that just wasn't "normal". It couldn't be, male friends weren't supposed to hug each other as much as he wanted to hug Tetsuya; they didn't find caressing their hair as rewarding as he did when he was with him; and certainly they didn't spend every second of their time thinking about the other, causing their heart to over-work and beat faster, and their thoughts to turn into a complete, absurd mess. Yes, Kuroko did that to him, so he couldn't help but wonder: was it just him? Was he the "abnormal" one? He was scared, very scared to find out. _

_"__Hey, Tetsuya?" He whispered, poking the resting boy's cheek in order to vanish his slumber "What are you scared of?" _

_"__Uh?" The blue head tried to catch the meaning in those words, subtly detaching his head from the other's shoulder and staring at him in the eyes "Why do you want to know my fears?"_

_"__I don't know, I'm just curious"_

_"__Well…" Kuroko took a finger to his temple, scratching as if he could dig an answer out of there "I don't really know, I guess there's nothing in particular" _

_Akashi couldn't believe his ears. Was it for real? Or didn't the other trust him enough? He didn't seem to be lying, those round, blue eyes didn't have a pinch of mischievousness in their stare. How could the boy not be seriously scared of anything? He was absolute; he didn't want to be a sissy compared to his best friend! So by the time his brain processed the information, he was sitting with his arms crossed and a jealous pout on his face, clearly offended._

_"__Wow, you really must be courageous then" He said, looking anywhere but into his eyes in a sort of childish manner. _

_"__I am really not, Sei" Kuroko said kindly, taking his friend's hand into his so he would look at him "I don't really think courage depends in you being scared of stuff or no"_

_Akashi's eyes suddenly lifted from the ground rapidly; looking directly into deep, blue ones with wonder and curiosity. Why? What did he mean? His father always told him an Akashi should never be afraid, that he mustn't be a coward faggot, and that he shouldn't dishonor his family. Was he doing it wrong? Tetsuya was surely a weird guy, but Seijuurou knew from experience, that he was the most brilliant, kindest, weird guy of all. _

_"__What does it depend on, then?" He asked wanting to become a brave man himself._

_"__It depends on the ability to face your fears and make them go away"_

_Kuroko sweetly smiled at him and Akashi could quickly feel the blood rushing nonstop to his burning cheeks. And with each second it passed by with their gazes tangled that way, the more he repeated himself he couldn't face THAT fear. There was no way, he couldn't do that. He felt so impotent, so frustrated…he wanted to cry. But no, a member of the Akashi's household must never cry._

_"__Sei, what's wrong?" His Tetsuya asked. That's right, it was HIS Tetsuya, his and no one mores'. He didn't want anyone to touch him, to hug him, nor to caress his hair as he did. _

_That was his other big fear, that being scared of loving Kuroko would eventually push him away. _

_He took his hand to his cheek and touched the scar, it didn't hurt, but he could still feel it. It was there, as a physical warning that he shouldn't do it, he shouldn't give in. He knew people thought badly about two boys being together. But why was that? Why was it wrong? Why was everything he desired impossible!? He felt his breath hitching, his heart bumping against his ribcage, and his brain about to have a black-out. He felt scared, he felt breathless, he felt weak…but he also felt courageous. _

_So then, without warning or further thinking, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against his Tetsuya's soft, surprised ones. _

_Kuroko opened his eyes enormously, only to find his friend's flushed face against his with closed eyes. He started to tremble; he didn't know what to do! How do you even kiss? Was he supposed to respond in a sort of way? His heartbeat seemed to have possessed his entire body; he couldn't feel anything but the pumping of blood through his body and the kind lips that were softly kissing his own. He didn't know what he was supposed to feel, but it certainly felt good._

_Akashi took opportunity of their hands being together to caress it with his thumb, sometimes couples did that, right? He didn't really know how to kiss someone, he was only ten! But he wanted to show his Tetsuya what he felt, and he was going to find a way._

_As he saw the other wasn't reacting, he started to move his mouth slowly, capturing Kuroko's bottom lip between his own. He also traveled his other hand to the pale cheek, stroking it and kind of preventing the boy from moving away. But what he wasn't expecting, was feeling two tiny hands suddenly hugging his back. He was responding._

_Kuroko barely understood what was happening. He was Akashi's friend…just his friend…was he? It was true his relationship with him was far different from the one he had with the other boys but…was he? Was he in…love? He couldn't think of it at the moment, he really couldn't think about anything at all. Everything was just…blissful. It was a pure innocent kiss, nothing more than sloppy mouths pressing against each other. And he let him continue, slightly stroking his back, that delightful kiss that he could assure were the most beautiful seconds of his entire life._

_"__Seijuurou"_

_Both of them rapidly pull apart, faces red and hearts beating faster. It was the voice of a man…that man…_

_"__F-father" Akashi greeted nervously, taking distance from the other boy "You are here already…"_

_"__Yes, let's go Seijuurou" He forcefully grabbed him by the arm and made him stand up, pulling him away from his Tetsuya, not even letting him assimilate what he just did "We need to talk"_

_"__But father! Wait, I-" But he couldn't finish the sentence, he was forced to walk towards the car, leaving the other all by himself._

_Kuroko saw the door being slammed in front of his friend's face and the heard the engine being turned on. The last thing he can remember from that day, was the image of Sei gradually fading away in the distance, looking at him through the window. His stare was intense, full of passion and unspoken words, full of love. He was pressing shakily his hands on the glass, his eyes never leaving him as the car disappeared through the long, gray road._

_That was the last time he ever stared at him that way._

* * *

Months passed by since the confession, and Kuroko never saw Akashi again. He changed schools to Seirin so he could start all over, so he could forget about him. And apparently, it did the trick. After a few weeks from the incident, he stopped crying while he was alone, and the nightmares were not a thing anymore. He was doing well, suppressing all of his memories and pretending they didn't happen at all.

He feared that someday something would happen, that something would trigger the memories back. But he tried not to think about that. After all, Akashi Seijuurou would never appear in his life again. Or at least he thought so.

It was a late winter afternoon, the Seirin team had just finished practice, and their tummies were rumbling with hunger. So together, they decided to head towards a restaurant nearby to spend some time together outside of the court. All of them were quite excited, it had been a hard week with lots of exams and practices, and having a break, free from any trouble, was a good plan indeed. Thank god it was Friday.

All of them were walking down the streets, Kuroko walked a bit faster, so within some minutes, both his friend Kagami and him were walking some meters in front of the other boys. They walked in silence, way too tired to have a conversation or fool around as usual. But Kagami couldn't help but look at Kuroko's expression, noticing a little change, something he needed to point out. He was subtly smiling.

"Hey, Kuroko" He said, shoving his hands into his pockets "You look kind of different"

The blue head arched a brow, not really knowing what the other meant.

"I didn't change at all" He responded coldly, facing at the road.

"Not you, I mean…your humor" The tall redhead admitted, scratching the back of his neck "I don't know, when I first met you, you looked kind of…depressed"

Kuroko swallowed nervously at the answer, his expression remaining blank. There they were, the memories, trying to hurt him again. But no, he was with his friends now, there was no need to feel sorrow. They were there, and that was all that mattered.

He shrugged in response, pretending he didn't know what he was talking about. But the second after his friend turned around to chat with the boys, he grabbed that aching part of his chest where his heart felt like rotting. He suddenly felt a shiver, as if something was about to happen, as if a ghost was coming back to haunt him.

"Here it is, this is the place I told you!" Izuki said enthusiastically, pointing at the restaurant "Come on guys, here they serve a fanta_steak_!"

After Hyuuga hit him on the head and each member of the team face-palmed because of the lame pun, one by one they started to enter the building. Kagami was about to do so, but he noticed a certain blue head staring at the ground, looking a bit baffled.

"Hey, aren't you coming?" He asked while holding the door for him.

"Yes, just let me breathe some fresh air for a while"

Kagami debated if he should ask him what was going on, but ended up voting against it. Maybe later. If he needed to think, better leave him alone. And Kuroko mentally thanked him, since he wouldn't have liked to give explanations. Everything was just so…complicated. He couldn't explain it just like that. He sighed, trying to clear his mind. It was ok, nothing happened, he couldn't let some stupid thought ruin all the evening. He needed to grow up.

After breathing some other mouthfuls of cold air and cleaning his messed up thoughts, he felt more refreshed, he felt clean. He was ready to go have some fun with his friends. That was it, he was going to eat and chat with his teammates, to laugh and have an excellent time. There was no need to mess everything up, there was no need to ruin his present because of a lame past. He was a strong man after all. He stepped forward and grabbed the restaurant's doorknob, but when he was about to twist it, a voice was heard from behind.

"Tetsuya, there you are!"

No..it was no possible…it couldn't be…IT COULDN'T BE. Suddenly, every brick he built around his pain started to rumble, the thick wall of fake courage he managed to create around his fears began to collide. His whole body was shaking; his eyes opened wide, his heart frozen. So much time trying to forget, so many days trying not to cry, so many nights trying not to dream about him…and suddenly he dares to appear right there, in bone and flesh, with his avalanching aura and enchanting voice. He couldn't turn around, he just couldn't. He couldn't bare his heart being broken again.

"Tetsuya!" This time, the devil took him by the shoulders and forcefully made him turn around.

But he still didn't dare to see, he closed his eyes and clenched his teeth. He didn't want to see that person again.

"P-please leave" He blurted out, trying to let go from the grip on his shoulders, but the other wouldn't back down.

"Tetsuya…help me"

That was it. That tortuous, pained tone on the other's voice was everything Kuroko needed to surrender. He couldn't help it, he still felt strongly for him from the bottom of his heart. _"H-help?" _He opened his eyes, slowly, trying not to be blinded by the other's mere presence. But that wasn't what he needed to be prepared for, not at all. There was something else, something that rooted out a gasp from his mouth.

There he was, Akashi Seijuurou, with his face completely beaten up. His lip split, his eye black, his cheek swollen. He was panting slightly, way more calmed that anyone in his condition should be. And his face was so straight and still dignified that he almost pulled the look off. But still there was some weird glint in his eyes, and everything Kuroko could read was _desperation_.

"Akashi-kun!" He almost shouted, his jaw trembling, not letting him talk properly "What happened to you?! What are you doing here!?

"I need to talk to you" The redhead spoke, with a serious yet mellow tone of voice. He then tried to grab the other's hand "And please don't call me like that. I'm Sei for you"

"I'll call you however I want" Kuroko responded, clearly altered, pulling away from the touch in his hand "I have nothing to talk to you; you made yourself very clear back when we were in middle school. Please leave."

Akashi was starting to get nervous. He didn't know how to get him to talk, he though his damaged look would be enough to make him feel pity, but apparently the scars he did to him in the past were more hurtful than those. And although his prideful face didn't show it, he felt terrible. He never wanted to hurt him…but he did. And he was trying to mend his mistakes.

"Tetsuya, I need you to listen, I-"

"Save it, go away" He mumbled, tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

"Don't cry! Just let me-"

"Leave!"

Kuroko was about to burst out tears of grief and frustration, about to run away, if it hadn't been for the door of the restaurant suddenly opening and interrupting the scene. Kagami's head popped from behind, and he seemed to be completely unaware of the current situation.

"Kuroko, are you alright? We need to order the food and-" He stared at the scene in front of him with confusion: a teary Kuroko and a stranger with a diabolic aura were looking at him with exasperation. "Hey, who are you?! What's going on here?!"

_Oh no, no no no no no….the real question here is who the fuck are you? _Akashi was officially FURIOUS_. _Who was that other tough, tall guy who was about to share a meal with _HIS_ Tetsuya!? He wanted to hit him, to punish him for interrupting his conversation with Kuroko. But if he did that, he would scare the latter, it was immoral. It was wrong. So he just stood there in shock, the situation pulling from his nerves into an internal crisis.

Akashi shook with anxiety; he didn't know what to do! Together with his Tetsuya's fragile, trembling sanity shattering in is presence and the crushing, accusing stare Kagami was glancing him, he felt completely trapped. His breath was fastening, his bruised face hurt, his hands were shaking, everything in his field of vision became shaky and unbalanced. He couldn't leave, he needed to talk to him, and he needed it _right then_.

Suddenly, without further thinking, he forcefully grabbed Kuroko's arm and pulled him away from the restaurant, walking really, really fast. It was an impulse, he couldn't take it anymore. He needed him to hear what he had to say, he had traveled a long distance and took lots of troubles to meet him, and he was not going to let go the chance.

But the other was protesting, trying to pull away from him, lips trembling in broken sobs and tears rolling down his cheeks. He couldn't help it; he was living his worst nightmare. He came back, he came back to haunt him…and this time he couldn't escape from him.

They arrived to a park nearby, the first place that promised Akashi some solitude and shelter from the other redhead that was probably chasing after them. He panted tiredly, his whole body hurt. But he didn't care, he didn't even notice. There was something much more painful he had to deal with at the moment, and it was definitely not his body.

He watched Kuroko tremble; drying his tears with fury, as he tried to remain calm. And at that moment, when the boy looked like the vivid picture of sorrow and sadness, was when he realized how much damage he had made. And he couldn't feel worse. He had made this to him, the tears were because of him, he was a careless monster. He had hurt what he loved the most.

Rapidly and abruptly, but with melting passion and love, he wrapped his arms about the crying figure, as if trying to protect him from evil. When in reality, deep inside, HE knew he was that agonizing evil. But he didn't care at the moment, since although the other obviously didn't hug him back, he didn't complain either. And booth's panicked breathing began to calm down.

"Why?" Kuroko asked softly, yet unevenly; sniffing as he unwrapped the other's arms from his body "Why did you came here?"

"Shouldn't you ask why I mistreated you in the first place?" He stated as smugly, his hands resting in his pockets to shelter from the cold. It was slowly starting to snow, and tiny pieces of ice melted as they fell on their skins. But they didn't care.

"No" Kuroko said angrily, speaking a bit louder "I perfectly know why you did that, you happened to be very specific about your feelings that day. You don't care about me at all, and I comprehend that, but I don't know why you needed to be so harsh. Was I embarrassing you?" The boy began to cry again "Did you hate me?"

"No, Tetsuya, you don't understand-"

"Yes, I perfectly understand, Akashi-kun" He said groggily, wiping his tears "You must have thought I was so disgusting, that I was such repugnance for even liking you, that I was pathetic…" He made a pause, then raised his head to face the redhead "But don't worry, I think so too"

Akashi's chest felt as if he just swallowed acid. It burnt, it morosely burnt with regret. He felt as if he just pressed his fingers into a still wet canvas and spoiled a painting, as if a masterpiece were ruined. The most beautiful, precious creature in the world was saying he was unimportant. It was as if the sun were denying its shine, as if the moon were denying its beauty. It was as if air were saying they didn't need him anymore, and oxygen suddenly disappeared from the atmosphere. And it was his entire fault… he had stained a beautiful soul.

And he couldn't stand it; rage and anguish were running through his veins.

"No!" He violently shouted, grabbing the boy by the arms "You are wrong! You are so wrong…" He made a pause and swallowed, looking at him in the eyes with the most serious expression he made in his entire life "I…Tetsuya, I love you" Kuroko's eyes widened in surprise, even more tears falling down. He couldn't believe him…he shouldn't believe him "Listen, please. Why else do you think I even came all the way here from Kyoto?"

"I don't know" The blue head mumbled, looking at the ground "Maybe you had a problem, judging by your beaten face. And suddenly you remembered there's somebody as dumb as me to listen to all of your worries and released frustrations. And probably you'll leave later, and never come back again. I think that-"

"Oh, for god's sake! How dense can you be, Tetsuya? Don't you remember I was the one who kissed you that day in the park? I loved you since we were so young! Damn! I even came here with this freezing weather; I don't even have a place to stay for the night, neither a ride home! So please, listen to me, Tetsuya. Please believe me…"

Kuroko stayed silent for a while. He covered his face with his hands, trembling. He wanted to run away, he wanted to disappear**…he was terrified**. His unknown fear from his childhood, the fear that he always denied to himself had become true: **he was afraid of his best friend**.

"Make me" He said with determination, awakening the other's curiosity "Make me believe you"

Akashi gulped nervously, debating whether to show _that_ to him or not. He sighed fretfully, he had to do it. It was the only way.

Slowly, he lowered his head and took his hand to the inner-pocket of his black, cozy jacket. His hand didn't tremble, there was no regret, but it was indeed a bit uncomfortable. He was about to give him a piece of his heart, his most treasured thoughts and secrets, the key to the truth. He would have needed courage to give it to him before, but now it had no merit, it was too late. Although his heart was beating like crazy.

With closed eyes, he handed the blue head a bunch of papers.

"What's this?" The boy questioned, examining them. He was confused, some of them seemed quite old, and some a bit crumpled or even ripped with anger. What were those? Why was he giving them to him?

He stared at Akashi, waiting for a response. But the other wasn't even able to look at him in the eye, he was looking to the ground uneasily, and he was…no possible…he was blushing.

Kuroko took a look at the papers in his hands, and read the first line of one of the crumpled, old sheets: _"Dear Tetsuya…"_ His eyes broadened with utter shock, they were letters _"About that day at the park, I'm so sorry my dad took me away, it's just that…he doesn't seem to like you…or at least us being together. The point is, I really like you, and I don't want this to stop us, but-" _After that, the following words were all crossed out with apparent fury.

The boy looked stunned; he glanced at Akashi demanding an explanation. But his anxious, discomfited face only leaded him to continue reading:

_"__Dear Tetsuya, I'm sorry for not talking to you at school. I want to, I really do! But it's just that I…I can't. My dad does not like that idea, what happened at the park was-"_ There were some more crossed out words _"I don't mean to-"_ And the end was ripped out.

He skipped some of the following letters, only to read a most current one:

_"__Dear Tetsuya, I don't know if I'll ever hand you this letter. Stress is killing me, I miss you so much. I want to talk to you, hug you, spend time with you as we used to do last year. Do you miss me? A part of me hopes you don't, since I doubt we can ever be friends again. My dad is like crazy, he really is. He is trying to convince me to marry some rich girl, I don't even like her. She's plain stupid, and she's not you."_ Kuroko's heart almost stopped right there. Was that true!? _"I don't know how you'd take those news…That's why I'm afraid to tell you. Would you get hurt, Tetsuya? Would you want me to leave her?" _He internally nodded. Yes, he would _"This is ridiculous, why are we apart? Why am I so scared of my dad? Oh, Tetsuya, I must be such a coward-"_

Kuroko was shaking; he couldn't defend himself from the handful of feelings that were poured into his shaking soul. Was all of this for real?

He skipped some more of them until he found the last one. He sighed, not wanting to go through all of them, but there was something about that one that just made him have to read it. It wouldn't have been that particular or special, if it wasn't for a certain peculiarity: it was the only one that had been finished.

_"__Dear Tetsuya, my love, I'm so sorry! I…I just…" There were some scratched words "I never wanted to hurt you, I swear. I did it for you to leave, to forget about me, since I knew I'd never be courageous enough to face my fears. I can't defy my dad, Tetsuya; he's a very hard person to deal with. I never told you before, but that day after the park, he did hurt me a lot. Emotionally…and physically."_ Kuroko felt his heart getting heavier inside of his ribcage. Those last words were written untidily, with lots of doubts messing with the pulse _"You don't deserve to be treated the way I treated you, but neither someone who can't love you fully. I'd love to be by your side, be your boyfriend if you desired. But with an arranged marriage and such a troublesome father, I'm afraid the pain would have ruined our devotion."_ The blue head's tears rained onto the paper _"I'm enormously sorry for what I did, I deserve no mercy for my rudeness. But I was scared. I was scared of getting hurt, and about YOU getting hurt. But in the end, my desperation made me hurt the two of us. I hope that you understand and feel better, but I also hope you do not forgive me. Maybe that way, you'll forget about me. And maybe that way, you'll live a happy life" _He sobbed, the paper shaking in his hand, making it difficult to read _"Goodbye, Tetsuya. I love you"_

Kuroko let go the papers. His fingers, frozen by snow and pain, couldn't bare their weight any longer. Neither did his heart. He couldn't even talk, he forgot how to do so. The only thing he could do was to tremble, to silently cry, and to stare at Akashi with so many emotions he couldn't even understand what was going inside his own skull. Just memories, about all of their years of friendship, about all of those years he spied him at school, not knowing why he didn't talk to him anymore. Not even aware of what was he was going through. But he was still hurting, he was still confused. He felt as if he wanted to puke or was about to faint at the spot. But he didn't. He needed to hear it from Akashi's mouth. He wanted him to be sorry.

"Tetsuya" Said man spoke apologetically, getting closer to him. Kuroko closed his eyes, tears falling as he did. He felt him approaching, standing right in front of him. There was evident distress in his voice, tears were trapped in his throat as he talked, making everything sound more hurtful, more unstable. "I'm sorry"

And again, he was hugged into the warm redhead's chest. But this time, he lightly hugged him back.

"What happened to you, Sei?" He mumbled against the cloth of the other's thick jacket "Why did you come here today?"

"Those letters were everything I ever intended to send you, but I never got the braveness to do it." He shamefully admitted, resting his chin on top of the other's head "I had them stored at one of my drawers, and read them quite often, hoping some day things would change." He made a pause, holding him a bit tighter "The last one was written last night, I was really planning to send it to you today…but my dad found it together with the others."

Kuroko separated his head from the other's chest to look at his face, completely bruised and harmed. He lightly wondered his fingers along his jaw line, and then smoothly traveled them along his damaged features. Never had he seen him in such a vulnerable state: so fragile, so breakable…it was odd, and it was depressing. He gulped and pouted with grief, seeing him in despair, keeping his hands at each side of his face.

"Did he make this to you?" He asked, his chest aching "Did your dad beat you up because of those letters?"

Akashi nodded. Kuroko wanted to burry himself alive. He couldn't even imagine something like that, his family was so loving and kind, he was unused to presence those kind of things…how could that monster even call himself a father?! He was boiling with anger and frustration. If he did that to him only because of some love letters, he couldn't even imagine how things went after that day at the park.

"He also told me he would force me to marry that girl, that I had no option" He mentioned seriously, running his fingers up and down Kuroko's back "He told me that I wasn't allowed to see you under any circumstances, and also to forget about stepping into my house ever again if I ever rejected the marriage offer," Akashi sighed subtly, then smiled "Guessed what I choose"

Kuroko blushed a soft pink, but he returned the smile to the other. Suddenly he felt content, he felt important, he felt special…didn't matter his eyes being swollen because of the crying, and neither did he care about the snow that was slowly freezing him to death. De didn't even notice.

"You are such an idiot" Kuroko whispered, smiling softly "What are you going to do? You didn't have to do that!"

"Yes I did" The redhead responded "It was necessary, that man was ruining my life. He was able to steal so much happiness from me…but I could never let him take you away" Once again, they pulled each other closer into a warm hug, the shorter one in tip-toes to be able to wrap his arms around the other's neck correctly "I hope that someday, you'll be able to completely forgive me"

"Idiot… I already did" Kuroko said with a giggle, clutching his shirt to pull him towards his body and stick their foreheads together "You are very courageous"

Akashi didn't wait any longer, and closed the little remaining space between their mouths to wrap the other into a passionate kiss. The blue head smiled blissfully, opening his lips and swiftly kissing him back. He felt all of his worries melting away; he got rid of the heavy weight inside his chest that an unrequited love signified. Finally everything made sense to him, finally he was complete.

The kiss was nothing alike as the one they shared back then in the park. It was more desperate, more passionate; their hearts were beating so quickly they didn't seemed to be beating at all. And both of them loved it, they couldn't get enough. After all of those years of suffering in silence, of spying each other from afar, of crying themselves to sleep just to have a nightmare about the other. It finally concluded: everything was as it was supposed to be from the very beginning: Perfect.

Both of them were so into it, so intoxicated with each other's taste and scent, so drifted away…that they didn't even noticed Kagami's presence until it had been almost a solid minute of him just unblinkingly standing there…watching them.

"Uhm…?" He managed to finally say, pointing at them extremely confused, his brain completely dysfunctional because of the shock.

"Oh, Kagami-kun" Kuroko spoke panting, his eyes lidded. He was too light headed to notice his confusion or worrying about his understanding. Well, love does that, doesn't it? "You are here"

"Yes…I am" The taller redhead mumbled, still not really sure how to ask about the whole thing slyly "I didn't know you were…uhm gay…" He suddenly regretted his words "It's not like it bothers me or anything! I'm ok with it, I can see you are happy. That's completely queer- I MEAN _CLEAR_!"

Akashi arched a brow, ignoring the weird comment.

"Oh, sorry I never told you" He said with a soft voice, the effects of the kiss made him look kind of love-drunk "This is Seijuurou Akashi, by the way"

"Uhm…hello" Kagami greeted him with a blushed face.

"Hello to you too" Akashi responded coldly, pressing Tetsuya harder onto his chest "Now, if you don't mind, you just interrupted something"

"Sei!" Kuroko protested "Don't be mean!"

"Oh…don't worry Kuroko…it's anal-I MEAN _ALRIGHT_!" His teammate responded awkwardly, scratching his head with discomfort while trying to escape the situation "I'll just tell the guys you are not fucking-I MEAN _COMING_! GOOD BYE"

And running he left, leaving the couple alone.


End file.
